moved to wordpress.

caseymcnair.wordpress.com

gonna come back here every now and again to lurk though!

the last week

has been so wack/awesome.
long weekend basically involved seeing my boyfriend every day, staying at his friday night, world vegan day on sunday and staying at his monday night.
also, my mum was in darwin, so i stayed at ebony's house for 2 nights, it ruled, her bathroom is classy as fuck.
thursday i went to dinner with andrew and a bunch of others at lentil as anything, then we hungout by the river near collingwood station for a while.
3 days of school sucked, but i realised that in less than 3 weeks, i will leave the school i'm at forever. really keen for swinburne next year.
a week and a half left until i start exams, cant wait to get it over with.
friday night involved latenight shopping with andrew and a really lazy night, i think i appreciate him more and more everyday, i've never been so happy to wake up next to someone.

I am

jealous of everyone who has something that they are good at, interested in, enjoy and can be passionate about.
i pretty much dislike and suck at everything.

this is the first day of my life.

I swear I was born right in the doorway.
I went out in the rain, suddenly everything changed.
they're spreading blankets on the beach.

yours is the first face that I saw, I think I was blind before I met you.
now I don’t know where I am, I don’t know where I’ve been, but I know where I want to go.

and so I thought I’d let you know, that these things take forever.
I especially am slow, but I realize that I need you, and I wondered if I could come home.

remember the time you drove all night, just to meet me in the morning.
and I thought it was strange you said everything changed,
you felt as if you'd just woke up, and you said “this is the first day of my life, I’m glad I didn’t die before I met you, but now I don’t care, I could go anywhere with you, and I’d probably be happy”

so if you want to be with me, with these things there’s no telling.
we just have to wait and see. but I’d rather be working for a pay check, than waiting to win the lottery.
besides maybe this time is different…
I mean I really think you like me.

this week

has been amazing.
Sunday was me and my boyfriends 1 month, we spent all day cuddling and watching Scrubs.
I went to school for the first time in over a month, i had forgotten just how tiring it can be.
Monday was Andrews birthday, I didn't get to see him unfortunately but that was okay.
Thursday i got to see Lachy for the first time since i was last at school, we did an amazing airport hug that no one saw.
That night we went to southland with my boyfriend and we blew the 6 month late birthday money i got off my grandpa.
Lachy and Andrew got along like a house on fire, I'm a little worried that they might elope.
Friday was Annas 16th, me and Steve made her a big silly birthday card in one of my double science lessons.
Today was Annas birthday lunch, and tonight is Andrews party.

At the moment.. life is really simple, which is something I've been wanting for such a long time. I'm happier than I've ever been and I'm completely whipped.

from now on

I refuse to let depression run my life.
This is my brain, my heart, and my body.
No festering disease will rule over me anymore.
I need to stand on my own 2 feet, for myself, my parents, my boyfriend and my friends.
I've found someone who inspires me every second of the day.
And no matter what, I know I'm better off than some of the people around me, it's selfish to wallow in this constant self misery.



ps. i love chills with joe and i am s0o0o0o0 cute ahahha

Paranoia in B Major.

I wish I knew all the words to say how I feel right now.
I'm lost, but, I don't even know what I'm looking for, where I'm meant to be, or who I am.
people from my past, refuse to stay in the past.